Boneheads Musicians Recording

The “Goth” band part I

Got a fun project with these “Gothic” rocker dudes. All they wear is black, with lots of silver jewelery, rings, chains etc… 3 piece power trio with semi gothic/opera vocals. They even bring their own silver chalices to drink wine from their 1 gallon jug they brought. They were even kind enough to bring me my own silver chalice!

We’re doing guitar trax and the guitar player is walking through the control room to the sound room. The layout of this old studio of mine had the JBL monitors hanging from the ceiling. They were fairly high up, but the dude was very tall. So he doesn’t see the speaker and BAM, he walks right into it. The speaker corner pierced right into the middle of his forehead and blood starts gushing everhwhere… The
dude went into shock and we took him into the lounge. We spent a couple of hours bandaging up his forehead and calming the dude down.

It took quite a while to calm him down and make him relax. I asked if he was ready to start laying down more guitar trax. Finally he was ready. So he walks into the control room and BAM! He hit’s his freaking forhead on the same speaker! SESSION OVER.

More to come…

Boneheads Musicians Recording

The drifter

I’m painting one of my soundrooms. I’m on top of a ladder covered with paint. A “walk in” client suddenly appears. (I don’t have walk ins…) He’s interested in recording. I say when do you want to record and he says “now.”

Well ok then. Let me clean the paint off my face…. So I ask him what kind of project we are about to start on. He’s going to sing. Great, so I ask him what music he’s going to sing to… “I don’t need music.” He says.

I ask “so you’re going to sing with no music, just acappella?” ….Yes.

DUDE IS TONE DEAF. After “singing” for an hour in the most sour, out of tune fashion he asks if I have a guitar.

“I’ve got a strat here, but no amp” I say

He’s cool with that, doesn’t need an amp so we plug the fucker right in! I hand him a tuner.. He hands it back to me “I don’t need that, I have perfect pitch. I’ll tune it myself.”

He definitely doesn’t have perfect pitch. In fact he has NO pitch. So he takes the guitar and doesn’t even tune it. He then has me roll tape and he starts to pluck the strings and put his fingers in random positions on the frets of the guitar! HE DOESN’T PLAY THE GUITAR! We lay down a tune of guitar and vocals.

I mix the tunes and make a master. At that point I inform him of his bill. He asks me if he could bring the bucks by later and I say “sure.” (I figure as long as this guy owes me money, he’ll never come back). So I let the guy go with his master in hand, without paying a dime. I watched him leave and he had no car. He just walked down the street… I picked up the paint brush and start painting again.