How to get a record deal

I’ve been asked thousands of times “how do I get a record deal?” Most people think this is an extremely complex question with many different possibilities. But it really is simple. When people ask me this quesion I give them all the same answer:

Shop at 7-11.

Yes, shop at 7-11. This is how to get a record deal. I’ll explain:

There once was a rock band with a decent female singer that I had done many albums with. This band was just like any other rock band trying to “make it.” They practiced twice a week, did shows, released CD’s, sent their discs in to record companies etc. They were doing all the usual things a band does to break into the big time.

One day the female singer stopped in at 7-11 to pick up some sundries. On her way out she bumped into a guy and dropped all of her groceries. The guy was very nice, and helped her pick up her stuff. Introductions insued. The conversation soon led to him saying “I’m an A&R guy with XXX record company (one of the big 5), and her saying “I’m a singer.”

One thing led to another (don’t know if any sexual favors were involved), and she was offered a recording contract. The record company only wanted her so she immediately dumped her band in a very sour situation. She then moved to LA.

She spent 2 years in LA working on her album. Then one day, record company XXX went through some management changes and all the A&R guys were canned. When the A&R gets canned, usually their artists get canned as well unless they are proven sellers.

She returned from LA with no record deal, no money and no band.