Why would you?

When I play gigs I spend a lot of time bashing the skins and just observing the strange people in the audience. There are a few things I just don’t get.

Why would you cover your body with tatoos? Do you think this is attractive? It makes you look dirty.

Why would you pierce your ears and make the hole the size of a coke can? Do you think this is cool or attractive? It isn’t.

Why would you stick a metal spike through your nose, your eybrow, your neck etc? Do you think you are original? We’ll you’re not. You look like the thousands of other losers that are doing the same thing.

Why would you (female) wear a belly shirt when you are a fat ass? Do you think other people in the club want to see your fat belly hanging out of your belly shirt? We don’t want to see it. Do us a favor and wear some baggy clothes that cover up your gross body.

Why would you (male) wear those stupid looking rapper pants that are gigantic and have them falling down to your knees so your boxers are showing? You look like a stupid loser. Let me loan you a belt you bonehead. Who would want to hire you for a decent job? Who would want to marry you and spend a lifetime with your ugly ass? Besides that, you’re white.

Why would you wear your baseball hat sideways? Because you are too stupid to realize it fits a certain way. You think you are cool? You are a moron. Like George Carlin says “How can you trust a person who is too fucking stupid to put a baseball hat on straight?”

Why do you talk like a rapper when you are a freaking wonder bread white guy from some middle class white neighborhood in Utah? You’re not from the ghetto.

Why would you think it is cool to act like you are from Compton? All the poeple who live there wish they could get out.

Why would you flash gang signs with two or three fingers? You’re not in a gang. I know why you do it…you’re flahing your IQ.