Boneheads Recording

The strangest engineer I ever knew

I was at another studio doing drums for a rock album. When all the tracking was done we asked the flaky engineer/owner to mix it. This guy was a piece of work. He’d go to the bathroom and disappear for hours. He spouted wierd gibberish for hours. Anyway, he says “we can’t mix until we have a spiritual moment.” HUH?

He proceeds to tell us how he was driving down the road and smelled smoke. He thought something was wrong with his car, but when he looked down he noticed his arms were on fire. Upon looking out the window of his car, he saw Jesus Christ floating above his car. The light from Jesus Christ was so bright, it was burning his skin!

So we say “cool, uh, can we mix now?”

Then he tells us he’s tired because he had sex with his wife for 8 straight hours. We’re saying “woa dude” but he says “it’s not physical sex, it’s spiritual sex.” Oh shit, here we go again…

He proceeds to tell us that when he has sex with his wife, they sit in a plain room with no pictures or items in the room…only one light hanging from the ceiling. They then have “spiritual sex” by starring into each other’s eyes without even blinking for hours and hours…

“Uh, can we mix now?”…..sure

A while into the mix he says he’s gotta take off for a while and lets us run the board while he’s gone.

We’re working the mix and tweaking when some guy we’ve never met walks into the control room. “Is Sam here?” the guy asks? We tell him we don’t know where he is… He say’s ok, then proceeds to unplug the Yamaha NS10 studio speakers and haul them off….