Phone call this morning:
Large corporate client: “Yes I’m wondering where that order we need is.”
Me: “You haven’t placed an order.”
Large corporate client: “Oh, can we have it by this Friday?”
Me: “Does that mean you want to place the order?”
Large corporate client: “Yes. So can we have it Friday, in four days?”
Me: “Ok great. But as you recall I told you this job will take 7-14 days.”
Large corporate client: “Ok we need 10,000 of them.”
Me: “Ok great.”
Large corporate client: “Maybe 15,000.”
Me: “Um, well I need a number.”
Large corporate client: “I’ll have to call you back…”
Synopsis
Large corporate client wants to know where the order he hasn’t placed is, which is an unknown quantity.
mediaguru Boneheads, Random
I’ve finished upgrading the site. WordPress rules. They couldn’t make it much easier. I hope this keeps the spam out for a while.
mediaguru Random
A friend of mine who I help with a wordpress site was hacked. They didn’t take his site down, rather they placed a ton of spam links hidden in his code.
That made me decide to check all my sites and sure enough this site had literally THOUSANDS of spam links hidden in the footer. Everything from erectile dysfunction to medical pot.
So I’ve changed my password, removed the malicious code and I’ll be upgrading to the newest version of WP in hopes that whatever security hole they exploited will be plugged.
mediaguru Random
Today has completely sucked, and it isn’t over. Let’s see why:
My fridge in my new condo is dead. So all my perishable food went bad. Gotta love the taste of rotten milk. For two weeks I’ve been living out of the freezer. They call me “Mr. Swanson.”
I have a bad back yet still help load the new damn fridge up FOUR flights of stairs. But wait, the idiot who is replacing the fridge “forgot” to measure the opening. The new fridge is too big. I then have to help them load the new fridge back down the four flights of stairs and I still don’t have a working fridge. “Can I offer you a warm beer? How about some chips and rotten dip?”
Oh nice. Looking out the window: IT’S SNOWING. F’n great.
My biggest client (a fortune 500 company) owes me a pile of money. Someone “forgot” to submit my bill to accounting for stuff I did at the end of February which cost me a bunch of out of pocket expense for materials. I’ve called them 2x a week for four weeks asking to confirm that they’d submitted my invoice to accounting. They assured me yes. So as of today, nearly 2 months later I still haven’t gotten paid. Yes I “loan” fortune 500 companies money.
Another client (probably a fortune 1000 company) also owes me and they “mailed a check” 10 days ago. That would have been when they were 60 days past due. No check yet of course. I “loan” fortune 1000 companies money too.
For the sake of argument, let us say that these companies have mailed my dough. I wouldn’t know, because the US Postal Service has screwed up my mail forwarding. I’m receiving mail from two companies in two different locations, none of which are mine. My mail? It’s probably in Bulgaria.
A collection agency called me this morning. Woke me up in fact. They want to collect the $432 for the “leased equipment I failed to return when I cancelled my comcast account.” One problem. I didn’t cancel my comcast account. In fact, I’m still using said equipment. Comcast just told me to “ignore” the collection agency. It’s hard to ignore someone who calls you every five minutes and wakes you up. That has now supposedly been fixed.
WOA what was that? While writing this I just heard a big crash boom bang… My huge tool set in the closet just fell over spontaneously.
I just checked and it isn’t Friday the 13th… hmm. I wouldn’t recommend anyone come near me right now.
mediaguru Random
While writing a blog post for one of my new blogs at The Mac Space, I stumbled across the sex position of the week article in Cosmopolitan. It was an interesting read, almost as educational as renting a porno.
According to Cosmo, the best place to meet a man is at the Apple Store. I shop at the Apple Store. Been there dozens of times. Never once have I been picked up by a woman there, though that sounds nice. I guess I’ll keep shopping at the Apple store in hopes that I can find a woman to whom I can “straddle her grounded leg and enter her while she holds her other leg up or letting it rest against my shoulder for leverage.” Then with her free hand she can “reach up and run her fingers across my chest as she gazes longingly into my eyes. Then, slowly, carefully she can stroke my nipples which is a major turn-on for lots of guys.”
Damn, all I wanted to pick up at the Apple Store was the Adobe CS3 upgrade from Macromedia Studio MX…
mediaguru Random
I played drums for the largest crowd ever for me, about 16,000. No it wasn’t a rock & roll gig. I played drums in the pep band at my university’s big basketball game today…
But hey, if someone asks what the largest crowd I’ve played for I can now say 16K.
Note: I wasn’t nervous either..
mediaguru Gigs, Random
The 2nd gig last week was canceled. I had enough fun on the first one though. The gig was a sub gig in Park City. It was the first time I worked with “the lesbian singer.” As it turned out, the singer was pretty amazing. She did a hell of a Janis Joplin. Her girlfriend was quite stunning and it was strange to see them both hanging all over each other. But on stage was great.
Later in the gig a drunk female tourist from Lake Tahoe got in an argument with the band leader about who has better snow, Park City or Tahoe. Then she proceeded to get on the microphone and tell the audience that her husband was better looking than Robert Redford.
A few minutes later a hard bodied chick appeared on the dance floor (see pic). She was strutting her stuff and flashing her abs. I called her “abmaster 5000.”… Then she flashed her twin DD’s to the band. They were disproportionately large compared to her body, just like her collagen lips. I was trying to play the drums and get my camera out of my pocket at the same time. I managed to snap the picture here, but missed the complete exposure of her implants… Honestly, they weren’t the best I’ve seen, not too natural looking. Regardless of the plastic surgeon’s lack of aesthetic skill, it was still entertaining and yet another “rock & roll moment” in my lengthy drumming career…
mediaguru Gigs, Random
I’ve got a sub gig in Park City Friday night with sort of a new band. The guitar player is a guy I’ve played with before, but the (lesbian) female singer I haven’t gigged with as of yet. Should be interesting or at least I hope it will be.
Then I have a gig with my regular band Saturday at a bar I like to call “Tattoos-R-Us”… There’s more paint on the patrons flesh than on the walls of the club.
mediaguru Gigs, Random
A club here called DV8 burned to the ground last night. I played a bunch of shows there over the years and even saw some cool bands like “X” play there.
The club was sort of going downhill, which was evident when the converted it to a strip club it its last year or two of operation. The club hadn’t been open for a while and last night on the news it burned to the ground with a 4 alarm fire.
I always “wonder” about the timing of fires like this… The club hasn’t been open for a while, the property isn’t generating any revenue, and suddenly it burns to the ground? I’m sure their fire insurance was current if you know what I mean.
mediaguru Random
